Could you critique this script for a short film? I'm submitting it for a film school application.?

The story seems to stand someplace between cruelty and sorrow and a dark romance. I felt as weak as Selah reading it. It'll make a wonderful short film. I would only recommend a better desciption of her sorroundings, how dark and frightening they may appear to her. Maybe even a flashback to someplace beautiful and bright to show the comparison. It's great with or without my advice.